Counselling is a wel-known word in our world....especially in the world of children... so what s that means???
Let's ask few questions to us (parent) when we are fresh, when we are not pre-occupied.
Dictionary explains the term Counselling---- It’s a process where a person can receive assistance in sorting out issues and reaching decisions to their life circumstances.
In a simple language I feel it is...
...it is nothing but COMMUNICATION with your loved ones, for your loved ones and about your loved ones...
It s really surprising that the more and more counselling centers are opened and are really busy helping out the children.
If we think minutely/sincerely, what children need which we don’t know and a counselor knows!!!
Children at their early/prime years need someone to talk,
Let's ask few questions to us (parent) when we are fresh, when we are not pre-occupied.
Dictionary explains the term Counselling---- It’s a process where a person can receive assistance in sorting out issues and reaching decisions to their life circumstances.
In a simple language I feel it is...
...it is nothing but COMMUNICATION with your loved ones, for your loved ones and about your loved ones...
It s really surprising that the more and more counselling centers are opened and are really busy helping out the children.
If we think minutely/sincerely, what children need which we don’t know and a counselor knows!!!
Children at their early/prime years need someone to talk,
even if they can not talk.
Children at their early/prime years need someone to listen and understand, even if they cannot explain properly.
Children at their early/prime years need someone to be with them,
Children at their early/prime years need someone to listen and understand, even if they cannot explain properly.
Children at their early/prime years need someone to be with them,
even if even if they move around in their own world.
Children at their early/prime years need warmth,
Children at their early/prime years need warmth,
even if they are cool in whatever they do.
Children at their early/prime years need oneness/togetherness in family,
Children at their early/prime years need oneness/togetherness in family,
even if they can't explain BUT can feel the vibrations.
...they grow wisely and nicely...but still sometimes we all are confused with each other!
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be happy (of course)
...they grow wisely and nicely...but still sometimes we all are confused with each other!
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be happy (of course)
even if we are not or does not want to be.
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be successful,
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be successful,
even if we till now does not know the true meaning of success.
We as parents, at any age, want ourselves to recognize as THEIR parents,
We as parents, at any age, want ourselves to recognize as THEIR parents,
even if we deserve or not.
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be independent,
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be independent,
even if we are the dependants.
We as parents, at any age, want our children to have their identity,
even if we are struggling for it.
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be well mannered (of course outside),
We as parents, at any age, want our children to be well mannered (of course outside),
who knows better than us...the manners!!!
We as parents, at any age, want our children to follow our advice,
We as parents, at any age, want our children to follow our advice,
even if we ignore the same.
.......there are many complexes, many facts...which we know but children know better and they cannot communicate!
We lived our life/lives always under guidance, which came as a package containing fear, complexes, and beliefs of our forefathers. Knowingly or unknowingly we are passing to the next generation!!!
... it is not that we never had any questions or doubts but we could not ask, could not clear the doubts.
WHY???
may be... the trust, we have/had on them.
may be... the fear to upset them.
may be... the fear of the authority.
may be... the required courage was not there.
may be... the exposure was not there.
OR
that desire was not there???
Today's children...
...have trust on us.
...does not want to upset us.
...do understand our importance/authority.
...have tremendous courage.
...are explored to n level.
AND
...have burning desire to get the thing done if they have decided.
Yes, we are also more aware what the children want (not need).
And we want to give the best to them.
we don’t want to struggle the way we have.
So where is the problem? Than how this term counseling has entered in our life?
Our intentions, our desire, our education, our bank balance... all these we have for our children, their future...than where is the confusion???
we give everything.
we give the latest technology.
we give the comfort(material).
we give the freedom to be independent, to be westernized, to move around.
Above all.....
we gave the thought unknowingly, that we are "we" when we have all these.
Than what have we forgotten? Have we forgotten this???...
...to talk to them as their friends talk to them!
...to sit together once in a day and talk what they and we, have done the whole
.......there are many complexes, many facts...which we know but children know better and they cannot communicate!
We lived our life/lives always under guidance, which came as a package containing fear, complexes, and beliefs of our forefathers. Knowingly or unknowingly we are passing to the next generation!!!
... it is not that we never had any questions or doubts but we could not ask, could not clear the doubts.
WHY???
may be... the trust, we have/had on them.
may be... the fear to upset them.
may be... the fear of the authority.
may be... the required courage was not there.
may be... the exposure was not there.
OR
that desire was not there???
Today's children...
...have trust on us.
...does not want to upset us.
...do understand our importance/authority.
...have tremendous courage.
...are explored to n level.
AND
...have burning desire to get the thing done if they have decided.
Yes, we are also more aware what the children want (not need).
And we want to give the best to them.
we don’t want to struggle the way we have.
So where is the problem? Than how this term counseling has entered in our life?
Our intentions, our desire, our education, our bank balance... all these we have for our children, their future...than where is the confusion???
we give everything.
we give the latest technology.
we give the comfort(material).
we give the freedom to be independent, to be westernized, to move around.
Above all.....
we gave the thought unknowingly, that we are "we" when we have all these.
Than what have we forgotten? Have we forgotten this???...
...to talk to them as their friends talk to them!
...to sit together once in a day and talk what they and we, have done the whole
day out!
...to spend the quality sundays/holidays!
...to play with them...knowing our children while playing is fun...he/she will be a
different person whom you never knew!
...to use the technology in a different way like stealing few moments from yr
...to spend the quality sundays/holidays!
...to play with them...knowing our children while playing is fun...he/she will be a
different person whom you never knew!
...to use the technology in a different way like stealing few moments from yr
busy schedule n say hello or share a joke !
...to give emotional surprises as per their age and wish!
Don’t you think we, the parent are the best friends and counselors for our children???
By Amisha nair
...to give emotional surprises as per their age and wish!
Don’t you think we, the parent are the best friends and counselors for our children???
By Amisha nair
8 comments:
Counseling can be defined as a relatively short-term, interpersonal, theory-based process of helping persons who are fundamentally psychologically healthy resolve developmental and situational issues - In short helping them to take their own decisions.
It does not relate only to a child but to everyone related and associated in the overall development of a child.
In today’s world counseling has become a lifestyle “Mantra". Parents don’t know what their child wants or is it they know and try to ignore it?
Children are scared to share and express their thoughts, maybe because of the fear of being rejected or invalidated.
The child then look upon their teachers & mentors, who apparently in most cases, don’t have time or patience to understand them. Isn’t it natural – In a class there the attendance is more than 40 students, perhaps more, in most cases, the teachers have a logical reason what should come first?
Syllabus or Child’s Psychology?
Result both remains incomplete and they are directed to Private Tutors & Counselors who apparently bombard the child with generic questions which, in first case should have been from the parent or their teacher. Result – A starts feeling – Is there really something wrong with me or is there something wrong with my parents who don’t understand me?
Result – The child ultimately feels only his friends, sometimes a stranger, can understand them and they evidently become their best friends as they always get to hear what they want to hear.
Here the damage is already been done to a large extent before it is being understood.
There are probably as many definitions of counseling as there are practitioners to describe it. Difference between definitions of counseling and psychotherapy is less significant than the practitioners' perceptions of their raison d'êtreis - A phrase borrowed from French where it means simply "reason for being". In English use it also comes to suggest a degree of rationalization, as "The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone".
The question still remains who has to be counseled – The Parent or the Mentor before they are picked up and labeled in Print Media or Electronic Media?
It is a beautiful food for thought and a reminder to act now. I could do with all suggestions.
Anju Gupta
Good thinking Amisha. Keep it up!
Hope more and more people read this and help themselves. This society needs people like u to guide ...............
Its an excellent move to take up such a sensitive issue.Hope more and many more people read this and can benefit out of it.It is really an eye opener.Keep it up!!!!!!! God bless you!
What is a good and effective Parenting?
It reminds me of the extract of letter, with was written by Abraham Lincoln to the Headmaster of the school where his son was studying and would like to share the same with you all.
>>And we think are we>>
"He will have to learn, I know, that all men just, all men are not true. But teach him also that in every scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish politician there is a dedicated leader.
Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.
Teach him that a dollar earned is of far more value than a five found.
Teach him to learn to loose and also to enjoy winning. Steer him away from envy, if you can.
Teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
Teach him the wonder of books; but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hillside.
In school teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat.
Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.
Teach him to be gentle with gentle people, and to be tough with tough.
“Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today.” Abraham Lincoln
highly impressed by reading what today's generation thinks. will be waiting to read more and more from your side.
Today's generation gets a good idea how to counsel their children without the help of counsellor.
Mehali
u have been a great person in my personal and professional life. i hope your efforts and this blog be a success, and parents like me benefit from this piece of advice. Now days parents are so busy that they don’t have time for their children so they keep their children busy. But if u constantly keep on stressing some points and guidelines it will have positive effect. All the best!!!
Post a Comment